


It was a Dark and Very Odd Night

by IrishWitch58



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Bugs & Insects, Fluff, M/M, Pinky and the Brain references, Scaredy Cat, World Domination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 21:39:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10370025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrishWitch58/pseuds/IrishWitch58
Summary: The boys in the hockey Haus have their Achilles heels. Bitty is a badass bug hunter.





	

“Bittle!” The urgent whisper outside the bedroom door was accompanied by a soft knock. “Please, are you there?” The voice was desperate. Jack was not amused when he extricated himself from the bed and looked at his phone. One thirty in the morning. Who, in the name of heaven was at the door at this hour? He hauled on his sweat pants and unlatched the door. 

“Birkholtz, what is going on?” Jack blocked the door. Birkholtz craned his neck to see around him. “Eric is asleep. He has an early class and I need to get back to Providence. I think we'd both appreciate it if we could sleep.”

“I WAS asleep.” A blonde head poked up out of the nest of blankets. “Where is it, Holster?” Eric snaked a hand out under the covers and snagged his own sweats and reeled them back in, slipping into them under the covers. He grabbed a sweatshirt and shoved his feet into sneakers. He nudged Jack out of the way and stepped into the hall. “Lead the way.” Yawning he followed Holster with Jack trailing after. He had no idea what kind of emergency prompted all this but he was certainly going to be there if Eric needed help. 

Birkholtz halted outside the bathroom door. He pointed a finger that might have been shaking. “It's in the shower.” His voice was hushed as though to avoid provoking whatever menace lurked in the space.

Bittle sighed heavily and strode into the room. He advanced to the shower and hauled the curtain back, rattling the metal rings at the top. His eyes roamed the hideous pepto pink tile walls. Jack watched from the door. Bittle stepped back, slid off a sneaker and raised it in his right hand. He brought his hand down in a lightning fast arc, the rubber sole slapping the tile like a gunshot. “Gotcha!” he exclaimed. He reached back in the shower with a piece of toilet paper and wiped the spot, depositing the paper in the toilet and flushing. He replaced his sneaker and yawned again. He gave Holster an absent pat on the shoulder as he passed. “That was the third one this week. Better tell Dex to get some more spray.”

“What was that all about?” Jack asked as he followed Bitty back to the bedroom. 

“Silverfish,” Eric replied. “Fair sized one too.” He undressed again and slid back under the covers.

“”But why call you?” Jack asked, brow creased in a frown. “He could have done the same thing himself.”

“No he couldn't and Lardo's away for the week, so he called me.” Jack just looked puzzled. “They usually call Lardo but she's not here.”

“To kill a bug?” Jack just couldn't get his mind wrapped around that idea. “Holster's afraid of bugs?”

“Not just Holster. None of these boys can handle bugs or spiders or anything creepy-crawly. So they call Lardo or they call me. Now can we please go back to sleep?” Eric tugged at Jack's elbow trying to coax him into lying down again.

Jack finally settled back under the sheets. “I still don't get it. Why you and Lardo?”

Eric sighed again, “Think, Jack. Lardo is Vietnamese. She grew up visiting family in places with moths a foot long, lizards in the house and spiders everywhere. Nothing here is ever gonna bother her. She's the official insect eradicator. I have to confess, I'm pretty good at it too.” He grinned a little. “Georgia boy like me? Yankee bugs don't stand a chance. These boys ever saw the kind of things that roamed our backyard in the summer, they'd all faint.” He chuckled a little and wrapped himself more firmly around Jack. “One good thing. Holster won't dare chirp me or you about you being here. One solitary chirp and he knows I'll leave him to his own devices the next time.” 

“Eric, you're amazing. Between the baking and the bug killing, you have this team wrapped around your fingers.” Jack hugged him closer and kissed the top of his head. 

“All part of my plan for world domination. Start with the Haus and work upward. Now please go to sleep, Pinky” 

“Wait, what? Pinky?!”

“

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry. I had to do this. The danged plot bunny bit my ankle and wouldn't let go.


End file.
